As a child, my parents often said, “Be yourself,” but I didn’t understand what that meant. The dominant messages at home and school were “follow the rules,” “be a good girl,” and “don’t make waves.” Throughout childhood, I followed the rules to fit in, a pattern that continued into adulthood. Like others, I quickly consulted the authority of teachers and doctors without question. Years ago as a nurse practitioner, I learned that being compliant and following the rules has its rewards in the medical community.
All this to say, I chose a path that allowed me to maneuver to a safe place to be authentic and feel that I belonged. I always say that the extent to which we are unhappy is the extent to which we are not part of a community.
I asked myself, how can I be my authentic self in a community, and what does that mean?
In the 1970’s my journey of personal growth led me to the Pathwork Center in NY, a spiritual self-transformation community where I joined a women’s group. For the first time, I sat on the floor with a circle of women sharing childhood stories. Initially, I sat silently, not wanting to speak. Then one of the women leaders came around the circle, sat beside me, and cradled me like a baby for a few minutes. Though it felt weird at first, it was kind of therapeutic.
Astonishingly, a few minutes later, I felt moved to speak and excitedly found my voice to share. The loving attention and acceptance I received helped me feel safe and supported, opening my heart to being in a community in a different way than ever before.
How can we do this for ourselves?
As my work evolved, I studied Chinese medicine and learned about healing. This provided more time to be present with people, in nature, and in all of life in a more authentic way. Any field of work can take you here. We have all walked this road in varying ways.
This practice of relaxing into a deeper place within, naturally evolved while giving myself loving attention. Thus feeling more worthy of my own self-love allowed me a deeper presence with others as well.
This practice includes compassionate self-conversations and while looking in the mirror into my soul I place my hand over my heart, creating a heart-focused breathing. Over time, I can feel the trust of being in the vibrational frequency of my heart — a huge electric pattern of Love energy as I surrender and relax into it.
This experience does not happen outside of you. It only happens from within you.
I always meditate to create a quiet space before bedtime and upon waking to begin the day. An authentic relationship with your inner self takes practice, as we are used to old patterns of stress accumulating and deregulating our nervous system. Seeing the change in the mind and soul will enable us to see the world differently.
The key, is to be true to yourself with an open grateful heart, in all circumstances. Setting clear personal boundaries eliminates the need to be in a defensive posture.
There are different kinds of communities, including our family circle, and we can belong to more than one. We also have the choice of letting go of communities that no longer serve us and moving toward those that align with our authentic selves.
Are you aware of what you feel in your body during different moments of emotion?
Our bodies usually reveal the truth — like the way a dog’s tail never lies, I trust my gut feeling which has a direct connection to my heart. As a result, my deep intuition which was there all along was finally given the space to be true.
In this rapidly changing world, there is freedom that comes with loving courageously and not buying into the judgments of others no matter what they have to say.
Through authenticity, we include our inner community of the body’s cells and organs that work unconditionally together in a harmonious movement happening throughout our body, mind, and soul.
Give yourself permission to express your creativity from your inner knowing with a generous heart.
Let’s all take a deep breath together, as community supports each of us while growing together…in divine alignment.
It is okay to let go of communities that no longer serve you, but let’s enjoy being together easily by remembering to relax and laugh when things get too serious. And experience the joy of sharing that love, expanding out to the planet into freedom that naturally evolves.
Rosa Mari Nicolosi
bodysoulintegration.com
rosa@bodysoulintegration.com
505-403-6835
Recent Comments